Summer 2018: What was I even doing?

This year has been a whirlwind, this summer especially. 

At the beginning of the summer, I had this vision. I would intern at the Indiana Writers Center, take online Spanish classes, write for the newspaper (that didn't last long because I had too much going on), and get my MFA applications rolling. Getting a "real" job wasn't going to happen until I was so broke that even ramen was too expensive. 

Well guess what? Your girl got really broke really fast. Key word: really. 

It happened when I decided that I would spontaneously burst out of Indiana to visit some grad schools. I sent out some emails to some MFA program directors and waited. It didn't take long for them to get back to me. Then I was marking dates on calendars, as well as booking flights and cheap hotel rooms on Booking.com. I was set! (or so I thought) 

I would visit Butler University next week, Purdue at some point, and Ohio State in the fall. In two weeks, I'd visit USF down in Tampa, Florida and the week after that I'd head to the big apple to visit NYU and the New School. I was so excited until I realized that I wouldn't be able to afford rent if I went on these trips. So I cancelled the hotel rooms and attempted to cancel the flights (I ended up being out $500, but didn't get too mad. I was young and stupid and this was a life lesson. Always spring for the refundable tickets). 

I was lucky though. I got to visit Butler, a campus I had been to about a month prior and I kind of loved it. I don't know if I'll be attending, but I do know that I'd be applying. After that I felt super motivated to write. Spoiler Alert: I did write, but not nearly as much as what I planned to. Bummer. But I still have time! The earliest dates are around October/November, so "I have so much beautiful time" as Olivia Gatwood would say. Not really, but that makes getting started a little bit easier. 

After my other visit plans fell apart (my car broke down and I junked it, shortly after, I'd get a bike), I job searched relentlessly. I filled out at least 30 applications. I ended up accepting a paid, remote internship and I started working at Pizza King. Pizza King didn't last long because three jobs and summer classes proved too much to handle and it wasn't a business I planned on working at forever. I quit the internship early because I just couldn't keep motivated. I wanted to write, pass my Spanish class, go back to school and move onto other opportunities and projects. Some things are only temporary and that's okay. 

Towards the end of July, I decided to take a leap and apply for the Fulbright grant to go teach English in Kenya for 9 months in a secondary/higher ed institution. Everyone except my mom seemed excited for me and the process of applying wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. I might have a chance of getting to do the thing. *Fingers crossed*

The journey of managing Brave Voices Magazine began on July 22nd. A few weeks before that, I finalized my schedule for Fall Semester. After Brave Voices, I finally started devoting time to my art: writing poems, writing bits and pieces of essays, drawing, painting, and taking photos for the hell of it, and writing more frequently in my journal.

In this last week or so, emails asking for interviews for fall internships and jobs have rolled in. My time writing my column "Adult-ish" has not come to an end as I've been bouncing ideas for articles around with my editor. I updated my resume and website, so I feel pretty professional these days. *Cough* Hire me. *Cough*

Somehow, I've even managed to make time for myself to do what I really feel like doing. I sit in coffee shops a lot, order food sometimes when I don't feel like cooking, binge-watch Netflix when I have nothing left to give to anyone, and hang out with friends (yes, I have friends).

I think I'm finally starting to get to a good place (well the best place I can be at the moment), even though life has been throwing everything except the kitchen sink at me lately. I think I'm going to be okay, or at least okay enough. 

Audrey Bowers